God does not say “I love you,” but rather God says, “I see you.” The Divine sees you exactly as you are without judgment, with a pure heart. This is ‘Observer Consciousness’.
Unconditional love is a state of observer consciousness. This form of unconditional love exists beyond duality. Love, in the form of liking something or someone with deep affection, exists in duality; where there is love, there is also the potential for hate. Why do people who were once so in love and married, end up divorcing each other full of poisonous hate? Hate is just another side of love.
Unconditional love does not have duality, for it is inherently neutral (it is not apathy however). Unconditional love means observing without judgment, accepting both ourselves and others as we are, without attempting to reject, resist, change, defend, or be attached.
At times, it may seem easier to extend unconditional love to others rather than to ourselves. Yet, cultivating this quality is crucial on our spiritual journey. Just as a musical instrument needs calibration to produce harmonious sounds, our alignment with unconditional love helps us return to our true selves. When we tune into the frequencies of unconditional love, we can finally re-align with our soul’s purpose, gaining clarity on what we are here to learn, experience, and achieve. This gives back to you, your true power & strength.
As we have forgotten who we truly are as we continue to live on this earthly plane, we have forgotten to love ourselves unconditionally. We have become out-of-tune, out-of-sync, out-of-calibration – Our lives have become noisy, messy, or dull. We don’t know what on earth we are doing here, and we become lost in the roaring sea of anxiety and fear, which is only tumultuous because we are so out of tune with our true selves.
Through my own journey, I discovered deep-seated fears. Each layer I peeled away, layer after layer, like an onion, revealed that my fears were rooted in the belief that I could only love myself if everything in my life was perfect, flowing smoothly, and peaceful. When faced with potential unrest, inconvenience, or failure, fear would overwhelm me. If I was given projects that I lacked in experience but believed I had to deliver outstanding results, my instant reaction was to run away. This fear of making mistakes, being rejected, and being unwanted, was incredibly paralyzing so I could never go far. As I explored these fears further, I realised that I had learned to condition my self-love on external validation. I believed I could only love myself if others showed me that they loved me, which I only experienced if I said the right things, behaved correctly, and if everything went perfectly, smoothly, beautifully, with great results. This belief, influenced by parents, society, and media, meant that without external proof, I wasn’t allowed to love myself. If things went “wrong” this proved to me that I wasn’t lovable, thus I could not love myself. I had to protect myself at all cost from being unloved (whether it be from others or from myself) as it was so painful, so I developed weird coping mechanisms, such as running away, only taking on "easy" projects, blaming others, forming a wall in relationships, and my favourite - telling myself that I don't need love nor recognition.
Recently, I had a nightmare about being made redundant at work, a situation the company I am currently working at is facing. The dream left me in emotional turmoil, crying deeply as I confronted fears of rejection and financial hardship. This experience also highlighted a pervasive fear I held on experiencing hardship. We have been trained to see hardship as something shameful, as if experiencing it means that we have done something inherently wrong, and it’s something we should feel guilty about, making it harder to love ourselves. We see experiencing hardship as another proof that life shows us that we shouldn’t love ourselves. We subconsciously question “How can we love ourselves if we can’t pay our bills and provide for our family?” We see only abundance, beauty, and peace, as the permission to love ourselves. This is absolutely, fundamentally, NOT true. We can love ourselves unconditionally in all circumstances – This is where our true power lies.
The question then becomes: how do we practice unconditional self-love? The key is to simply observe ourselves as we are. Recognize and acknowledge your fears, shame, and guilt, without judgment. Just observe and watch the situation that is challenging you right now in your mind without judgment, feeling the uncomfortable sensations that arise in the body without judgment. As you observe, the fear dissolves, you relax, and the unconditional love that was obscured & clouded by the sea of fear can finally come to light.
Practice reminding yourself that you can love yourself unconditionally in all situations, that hardship and rejection fundamentally does not devalue your worth. If something goes “wrong” or not your way, it is not the Universe proving to you that you aren’t lovable or deserving of great things. It is just life as we live in a dimension of duality – where there is peace, there is war. Don’t let this put you off kilter and out-of-tune. Re-calibrate yourself to your true divine being by observing and watching the situation with detachment and no judgment. Only then, true unconditional love can be uncovered, and your true self will shine through. The clarity will give you the keys to your soul’s purpose, you will not wander in the desert aimlessly anymore.
Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, is crucial for developing this state of observer consciousness. Many find meditation challenging, so I use crystals in my practice to focus and tune into their consistent frequencies. I also use them in meditation to learn & familiarise myself with various positive frequencies so I can draw them out during the day as I go about my daily life.
Ultimately, with practice, we can learn to love ourselves unconditionally in every situation, regardless of external circumstances. Then the fears dissolves. Affirmations like “I have permission to love myself in all situations” or simply, “I can love myself in all situations” can reinforce this self-acceptance.
Regain your immeasurable strength, true power and purpose.