Fear and anxiety plagued me literally all my life. Even though I had done so much inner work for the past 20 years I still could not fix this issue, until now. Recently I had a breakthrough and I really wanted to share my personal experience with you.
The Vital Piece We Overlook
One of the key missing pieces in spirituality is the importance of connecting with the body. Consistent practice of some sort of somatic healing exercises is vital for gaining new insight and deeper understanding about yourself and thus the Universe. I personally do Body & Brain training which I think is one of the best and simplest programmes, but find whatever suits you.
Why Is The Reconnection With Our Physical Body So Important For Spiritual Growth?
While our thoughts and emotions often dominate our consciousness, I discovered that fostering a connection with the body allows you to release stagnant energy that you didn’t even know you held onto. When you release the old, the new can come in - this is essential for gaining fresh insights and clarity, which leads to spiritual growth.
Personally, this process unblocked energy in my heart chakra, which allowed me to take deep breaths into my abdomen—a practice I had struggled with before. Breathing is so important for energy flow and meditation! By releasing old energy, particularly in the solar plexus region, I could finally gain a sense of liberation and freedom. Connecting with my lower dantien (or dahn-jeon in Korean) which is by the sacral chakra, I learnt to store vital energy to heal and regenerate my body. I did all this by connecting with my physical body through physical exercises, rather than the chakras directly themselves.
When I released all this stagnant old energy, and allowed new energy to be stored and flow smoothly, I felt that my 3rd eye truly developed. This was the pivotal point where I was finally able to gain brand new insight about myself to finally achieve the breakthrough to solve my long suffering fear and anxiety.
Clean Body = Clean Energy = Crystals Love It!
Just imagine how much more crystals can work with you when you’ve done all this spring cleaning in your body! I sense crystal frequencies so much more now, with greater ease, and feel new layers of energies from the same stones I hadn’t before!
Anyway,
My Breakthrough Events
I had two major breakthrough events, all occurring during Body & Brain training sessions. One occurred at the Earth Village in Kerikeri, and the other at the Auckland site. I always approached these sessions without any expectations, yet I emerged with deep insights about myself that I had never consciously recognized before.
At Earth Village, I uncovered that I had closed off my heart at a very young age, around five, which I wasn’t aware of before. During one of the meditation-like activities, I also vividly saw myself as a fetus in my mother’s womb, holding intense feelings of fear. Later I completely exploded by releasing a tsunami-like anger that was deeply seated from my childhood. This anger seemed to stem from being compelled to conform to societal expectations. I was astonished to discover these new insights about myself and the level of intense rage within me that I had held onto all these years without noticing.
My most significant breakthrough happened during an all-day training session in Auckland, which illuminated why I struggled with persistent feelings of fear and anxiety, despite all the inner work I had completed. The session was held two days before my birthday, and during the meditation session, I again saw a vision of myself as a fetus, like I did at Earth Village, but this time the sensation of fear was more akin to terror or a panic attack. In that moment, I empathized with my fetal self, reassuring it that life would not be as frightening as it seemed and that I would encounter great people and meaningful experiences. In that moment, for the first time in my life, I genuinely wished myself a happy birthday, telling myself how wonderful it was that I was born. Prior to this, I had never truly celebrated my existence, as even as a small child I felt sad and burdened.
The genuine compassion I could feel for myself at that moment led to tears – I cried and cried and cried. I didn’t even know why I was crying so much until I realised that for all these years of my life, I never truly believed I was loved. I discovered that because I closed off my heart so early, I prevented myself from receiving the love that had always surrounded me. I believed my family never liked me and that I was a huge disappointment. I believed my friends and colleagues never truly liked me either – I couldn’t like myself, so I could I believe that others could? However, since the self-realisation, I knew this was just not true. I understood that I was loved; I could feel it, I could see it in the people’s eyes and how they interacted with me. I was amazed that I had been so blind to this before. But even if they do not love me, it doesn’t really matter because I now can give that love to myself. The wave of love and compassion I felt towards myself as terrified fetus, fully opened up my heart that I didn’t know was so tightly closed.
What Neutralises Our Fear & Anxiety?
The profound experience of self-love & compassion took about a week to fully process. Surprisingly, I began to notice a spontaneous emergence of gratitude within me, a feeling that I had previously struggled with. I had found it very difficult to genuinely feel thankfulness in my life, avoiding the issue altogether as it felt very fake and contrived. Yet, following that transformative day, I could authentically feel love and gratitude without much effort. During this time, I had some older fears emerge again about money, and other everyday life worries that pop up when things don’t go as planned. As I was trying different thinking methods to relinquish this fear and worry, a feeling of gratitude just naturally swept over me. This allowed me think of ways I can be thankful for this situation – WITHOUT me straining myself to try. It just flowed so effortlessly and so easily, which never happened before. Then I realised that my fear and anxiety completely melted away. This finally led me to discover that genuine gratitude is what neutralizes all fear and anxiety.
My inability to love myself had directly impacted my capacity to feel love from others and to experience gratitude, and that was why no matter how much inner work I undertook, I still suffered from constant underlying fear and anxiety. Prior to this breakthrough, I had spent 2 decades trying to “fix” myself from this. Now, when faced with situations that could evoke feelings of fear, I can observe my feelings, genuinely experience gratitude in the situation with ease, neutralise the fear, and ultimately liberate myself.
The Solution to Fear & Anxiety
The solution to my fear and anxiety was so simple – genuine love & compassion for myself and gratitude. However, true realisation of self-love is not as easy as it sounds. I firmly believe that releasing stagnant energy that are tightly held in your physical and energetic body is pivotal. It is the smooth flow of new fresh energy that is not impeded by old blocks that allows you gain deeper insights into your being. Everyone has different experiences, and everyone has a different reason to why they haven’t been able to genuinely feel unconditional love and compassion for themselves. Noone can tell you why, only you can, and it will be very difficult to achieve this without fresh insight. So I urge you to reconnect with your physical body, so you can begin releasing the old and allowing in the new.
If you don’t know how to reconnect with your body and what exercises are right for you, what how do you start? Well here I shamelessly market myself and suggest connecting with crystals. Perhaps crystals that vibrate with the frequency of love - as you connect with such frequencies, your life will align to find the path to love. This is what I believe happened for me and I believe this is how crystal “magic” works. The more you attune to their energies with commitment, slowly but surely, your life begins to change and realign. If you find that life is changing too slowly, I learnt from my own experience that crystals only can do as much as your own level of energy because they work WITH you (does that make sense?). As you find the right somatic exercises and build your energy stores, you will notice that crystal “magic” works faster and stronger.
With great curiosity, I look forward to discovering what further truths await me in my next journey. I hope too that many others, wherever they are, and whatever path they are on, they will also find love, compassion and gratitude for their lives.